National Infertility Awareness Week

I've been wanting to sit down and talk to someone about how infertility has changed my life for a while now. NIAW seemed like a good time to do that. I'm among friends here, right? No judgement zone? Okay, here goes.

I started to suspect that something might be... different... when after nearly 6 years of preventing (not always very well) we never had any "close calls." In October 2007 we started trying for real. At first we were so excited. We'd spend hours picking out names, designing our dream nursery, discussing who'd stay home with the baby, etc. In February 2008 we got that beautiful pink line. From the start, it didn't feel right. A week and a half later, I had a miscarriage. It was painful and devastating. I never went to the doctor, it was over so quickly. We took 2 months off trying after that, then we went back to it. We were unsuccessful until December 2008. This time it was a blighted ovum. I got a D&C at 11 weeks. Now here we are, April 2009 and still no baby. No pregnancy, either.

So, we're at 18 months of trying w/o a viable pregnancy. If one year makes you infertile, does 1.5 years make you infertile and a half??

I'm trying like heck not to obsess over my cycle anymore. Today is cd15, and I most certainly felt ovulation. We covered our bases, and will probably give it another shot tomorrow. If this month doesn't produce the intended results, I'm going back to the doctor to start getting some testing done.

The road ahead will be long and painful. We don't really have a plan of how far we will go. I guess we will just cross each bridge as we come to it... if we can afford it!